Unwanted Burden
by yokascruz
Summary: Bosco is confronted by a determined Cruz about his decision to leave the 55. Bosco/Faith.


Title: Unwanted Burden

Author: Mandi  
Main Characters: Bosco/Cruz & Faith  
Summary: Cruz becomes the unlikely source of giving Bosco a reason to stay.  
Disclaimer: They are not mine  
Authors Note: I'm not a Bosco/Cruz shipper, not publically anyway (nah, just kidding), but I've always loved the complicated dynamics between the two.

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The morning sun peered into his room as Bosco walked from the shower, only a towel wrapped around his waist. He wiped briefly at the water still glistening on his firm chest, his fingers lightly brushing against the scar there. Four scars. Scattered across his torso. He sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror. He touched every scar, feeling the uneven surface of his skin. Four bullets. He took them for her. Did he regret it now? No. Not ever. She lived. That's the only thing that mattered to him.

For months after waking from a coma, he told himself every day, that he took those bullets because she was his partner. She had two kids. It was his duty to protect her. But the truth was. What he felt in his heart. Was that he put himself on the line for her because he couldn't imagine living without her. But that was then. This was now. All he wanted to do now was get as far away from his old life as possible.

He didn't know for sure when he decided to leave NYC. It was just one night, when he sat alone at a shady bar, that the thought dawned on him. He wasn't the same person anymore. He struggled for months trying to be that person, but it was no use. Each time he'd fall short of his goal until one day he finally grew tired of being something he knew he could never be again. He tried for months to impress her. Assure her that he was fine and in return she'd encourage him. Tell him things would get better, that she was always there if he needed her. He never gave up hope because she was by his side. But then slowly, he started to see the changes in her as well. She smiled less, and when she did, she couldn't mask the sadness he saw so clearly in her eyes.

Being his friend, being his source of strength was taking it's toll on her. That's the only conclusion he could come up with. The last thing he ever wanted to be for her was a burden. And for nearly a year, he had become one. He depended on her more than he let on. It hurt to breathe without her. She made his pain go away by just being in the same room. Her presence soothed him. Her voice calmed him. He needed her, but he couldn't stand what he was doing to her. What he was putting her through because he couldn't sleep alone at night if she wasn't there to hold him.

A single tear slipped from Bosco's eye. He let it make it's way down his cheek before weakly wiping it away. He had no other choice. He had told her last night. Watching as her eyes filled with tears, shaking her head in disbelief, as she pleaded with him not to leave. Her words were futile, he had already made up his mind.

The knock came hard and swift on his front door. Startling him for a moment as he quickly threw on a pair of boxers. His heart fluttered in his chest. He didn't know if he could face her now. Not when he was just about to leave. Seeing her again might break his resolve. He breathed in deeply as he opened the front door. His brilliant blue eyes quickly turning dark as he glared back at the woman in front of him.

"What the hell do you want?" he hissed turning away and walking back toward his bedroom. Sergeant Martiza Cruz scratched at the back of her neck nervously as she walked into his apartment and closed the door behind her. She followed him to his room and stood at the entrance way, watching as he grabbed a bag from his closet and started piling clothes into it.

"What are you doing here, Cruz?" He asked, his back to her.

"You really leavin?" She asked softly.

"That's the plan." He replied casually, moving to his closet to gather his jacket. His hand found his NYPD Uniform briefly, before he let it go and grabbed his leather jacket hanging next to it.

"Anything I can say...or do...to make you stay?"

Bosco snickered as he turned around to finally meet her eyes, "you're kidding, right? Because there's absolutely nothing I want from you."

The harshness in his voice made her flinch slightly as her eyes traveled from his face down to his bare chest and clearly defined abs. Her eyes found the scars there, the first time she had ever seen them, it pained her, reminded her that he had almost died. She had almost watched him die right in front of her.

Bosco turned away from her in disgust as he grabbed a shirt and quickly pulled it over his head. He hated what he saw in her eyes. The passion. The heat. It made him sick to think she still wanted him that way. He was far over it. Far over her. He would never take that road again.

"Bosco—."

"What makes you think you can convince me to stay?" He asked, as he pulled on a pair of blue jeans. He looked at her, waiting for an answer.

"I care about you," she whispered.

Bosco's eyes widened slightly, "wow—this just keeps getting better and better." he said shaking his head in disbelief as he zipped up his duffle bag and moved to collect some of his person affects. His deodorant, his comb, his gel, anything scattered across his dresser, "what the hell do you want, Ritza?"

"I want—," she started, swallowing hard.

Bosco met her eyes again, "hmm?"

"I don't want you to go."

He nodded, "I'm pass caring bout what you want."

"I know—that's why I ain't askin for me."

Her words made him stop what he was doing, but he didn't turn around. He remained with his back to her, his hands gripped the top drawer of his dresser firmly as he spoke, "then who you askin for?"

"I think you know."

"We're not having this conversation," he countered quickly, grabbing his leather jacket and putting it on, "I'm leavin, end of story."

"I was there, Bosco. I was there in the beginning when you were still in the hospital. She's lost without you. She needs you, even a fool can see that."

"I told you—we're not having this conversation." He stated firmly, grabbing his bag and moving to exit the room. Cruz stood her ground, blocking his only means of escape. He glared at her, but she wasn't gonna break this time, "I swear to God if you don't move, Cruz, I'm gonna make you."

"After everything that's happened between the two of you. How can you just walk away?"

"Cause I'm only hurting her if I stay!" Bosco exclaimed, his face dangerously close to hers, "you don't know what it's like. You have no idea what I go through—what she goes through because of me. And why do you care anyway? You don't give a damn about her."

"Maybe not—maybe I don't like her...but I respect her. And that's enough for me."

Bosco moved to pass her again, but Cruz planted herself firmly in his way. She made him look at her, her eyes hard and her features determined, "you say you'd do anything for her...and yet, when things go to shit for you, the first thing you do is give up on her."

"Just leave, Cruz. Just get the hell out!" Bosco snapped, his voice cracking only slightly.

Cruz nodded as she turned and started toward the door. After taking a few steps, she looked back at him, her eyes sad as she spoke softly, "it's sad really—because not once did she ever give up on you—even when everyone else did."

With that, she left, leaving Bosco standing in his hall way, his bag slung over his shoulder, tears shining in his eyes. He lowered his head in a silent defeat. He knew what he had to do.

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He knocked somewhat urgently on the door. Holding his breath as he heard someone approach.

"Bosco?"

"Faith...I can't go—and...and I can't, I don't wanna do this alone."

"Come here—come here..." she whispered, taking him into her arms, "it's okay...it's alright...you're not alone...I'll never let that happen."

"I didn't give up on you, Faith...I never would."

"Shh...I know, Boz...I know."

Faith held him as his tears finally fell.


End file.
